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Blunkett - "has eyes everywhere"

BERLIN -- New homeland security measures announced FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

With the latest success against people the state doesnt like very much, including several countries with access to weapons of mass refinery, the Reichs leaders have introduced many new security measures to ensure the defence of our proud volk and way of life.

These include:
Rule by decree: ministers can now enact laws without the use of parliament and enforce a state of emergency. Like now, for instance. A state of emergency is defined as anytime a minister wants to do something that parliament will disagree with.
Foreign labourers: Blunkett has promised a full enquiry into why we need so many foreign labourers to fill supermarket shelves, fish for cockles and depress wage prices for his factory-owning friends.
Free speech: Blunkett welcomes all forms of free speech as long as it is lawful, and this means we must all valiantly defend his right to free speech! However, please do not say anything that members of the royal family, minor TV celebrities or prominent sportspeople will find distasteful as that will make you liable for unlimited detainment without trial.
Unlimited detainment without trial: We will lock up any threat to our political careers, the hegemony of the royal family and the right of Richard Branson to do whatever he likes with his billions (he is worth every penny).

Yesterday Adolf Hitler, after signing the new laws, was heard to chuckle to himself saying "shit, they'll never swallow this".

The Reich salutes its leaders! Es lebe Dachshund!

Herr Blunkett is watching.
and unfortunately this is all true.