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Germans "probably all on drugs"

Berlin -- A new explanation for the German phenomenon has come to light, which casts doubt on previous social darwinist interpretations of German culture and media.

Credited with the fall of the Berlin Wall, David Hasselhof is a national hero for young Germans.
We have all been there. You run into an old friend at a party and he is babbling at you: Telling you he's a fish and how wonderful life is, all the time looking from side to side with strange paranoid glances. It seems very strange, and its almost certainly drugs.

Germany, long famous for its culture and science, as the home of Beethoven and Bach, has again gone off the rails.

The first worrying signs came with Boney M and Skorpion, to which the word "Kool" was often attached, often followed by the words "precisely, for sure" in conversations with their English cousins. Strangely, like a beloved family member, the international community did not see the danger, and ignored it.

Now, instead of the clicking of heels, its the clicking of fingers to the new German Pop, and social psychologists the world over are getting worried.

"The last two times Germany reunited we had world wars. Now they have reunited again I am taking to the hills, and burning all my Boney M records", said one concerned resident of Siberia.

According to the Department of Social Engineering in Clacton University of Technical Things, it is looking grave. "What we see is a descent into banality that usually comes when great evil has befallen a land. No good can come from this cultural wilderness".

There can be no other explanation
It all amounts to one thing: Germany has either gone mad, or is on drugs.

Are all Germans really on drugs? Have your say.