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New Two Armed Nazi Salute - new SS military protocol an "outstanding success in battle"

BERLIN -- With our inevitable victory imminent, the Wehrmacht has enthusiastically embraced the new two-handed Hitler salute.

The new salute has been adopted with enthusiasm by Army Group Steiner and the 9th army in their successful attempts to relieve Berlin, and has been greeted with shock and horror by the allies who never expected our brave and glorious armies to show such national socialist ardour in their defence of the reich.

Some, armed with the latest wonder-weapons from various garden centers, have already ensured that they will not fall into the hands of the evil Russians and their avenging hordes of slavic maniacs.

The glorious fantacism of our brave soldiers will echo down the caverns of history as a clarion call to all marketing executives and political nutbags. Already, our troops are swapping their conventional weapons for the ultimate terror weapons of the reich.

The Reich salutes its brave soldiers! Es lebe Dachshund!

The flower-strewn streets of Bavaria echo with the glorious steps of the jackboot as the valiant soldiers of the Reich give the new Hitler salute to the adoring crowds.